I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize