But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
