Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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