I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
