i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All the doctor said was why
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
