i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
