i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
birth control should be required to get into college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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