I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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