i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
