I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
