dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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