My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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