go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
