too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
