don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The best revenge is premature balding
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
