I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
