There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
