Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
