she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
