This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
