I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
