so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize