I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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