Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
