At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
