Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize