you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
