We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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