I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize