you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
