I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
