I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
