What a fucking waste of an outfit
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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