I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
