i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
