where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
