I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
