She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
