I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
