My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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