Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Drake has all the answers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
