I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
