I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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