She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
