I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
