youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
