so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
