so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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