Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
