Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
