Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
