I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
