I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
