What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
