I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
