K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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