come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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