Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize