there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize