God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
