Just cropdusted the office
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
