you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
