six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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