what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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