what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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