Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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