Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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