There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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