No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
worst night to have a conscience
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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