but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
