I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
