The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
