TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
