Do you still have your period?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
