dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
