found the other keg... it's in the tree
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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